On Aug 25th, 2013, the world tuned into the MTV Video music awards and watched in horror as a song called “Best Song Ever” by One Direction won an award for being “The Best Song” setting up an inception like time-warp sparking the fear that One Direction will change it’s name to Best Band Ever and then win at every VMA long past their significance (which is entirely possible.)

Twerk it, Make it, Do it, Makes Us.
Twerk it, Make it, Do it, Makes Us.

There was also an incident where the star of Disney’s Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus, twerked all over the crotch of douche-dude-de-jour Robin Thicke to her latest single aptly labelled “We won’t stop” and stop she didn’t as she displayed the phenomenal length of her tongue arbidly and hilariously at regular intervals of the 12 minute performance.

As the internet is wont to, it exploded in anger over the performance. “It was like she was having a seizure on stage….” It offended people that in song where the lyrics are “This is our house, This is our rules, And we can’t stop, And we won’t stop” that was doing EXACTLY what she was singing.

Smarter folks will postulate, that the giant sexy teddy bears (I never thought I would ever write a sentence that had those three words one after another in it) may have been a statement of Cyrus coming out “I’m all growed up party”. Then Robin Thicke emerged from the wings in an appropriately jail-uniform-y black and white striped suit while Miley, the Disney princess and twerked against him. (For the 2 people that don’t know what twerking, it’s ok. Welcome to the falling standards of the Oxford English dictionary that added it officially recently. We didn’t have a word for slapping your inner ass cheeks against someone’s groin in public before this. Ye Olde English language.) But Miley Cyrus did exactly what SHE wanted. We have given her this platform, the name, the fame, and today, she can do what she damn well what she pleases with it. We showed her the game and now she’s made a few of her own rules and it’s time to play ball. She summed it appropriately in her red carpet interview before the performance “I was born ready, if you’re waitin’ on me you’re backin’ up.”

The anger raged from people calling it offensive (to who? Teddy Bears, Tongues, asses, who?), to Robin Thicke’s mother commenting that she felt embarrassed for her son during the performance (“embarrassment” that was conspicuously absent during EVERY viewing of the “Blurred Lines” video for some reason?). A widely circulated comment on Facebook decided to offer advice to Billy Ray Cyrus “Dad to Dad.” Yes, coz all children are the same. Just like the wonderful unique flower child that you are bringing up. She’s 20. She’s doing on a MUCH larger scale, what your kid is ALREADY doing.

This photo of the Smith was widely circulated as a response to Miley’s performance. But this turned out to be a pose that the family had struck that pose when they saw Lady Gaga’s equally outrageous performance at the same event.

Apparently this is NOT the face they made when they saw the box office earnings of "After Earth"
Apparently this is NOT the face they made when they saw the box office earnings of “After Earth”

Already, Cyrus is laughing her way to the bank after what is now the most outrageous performance in the history of the MTV Video Music Awards. A skinny, white woman singing about partying non stop is something that has NEVER happened on the VMA stage apparently. It also hurts me to imagine that they would reduce the most iconic moment in pop music history (the Madonna-Britney fluid swap) to #2 on the list.

Watch Miley Cyrus at the 2013 MTV VMA’s here. It was out there, bizarre and slightly ridiculous. But it was nothing we haven’t seen before. You keep going Miley. No one is stopping you.

2 thoughts on “The twerk heard around the world.

  1. I don’t think it’s particularly wrong for Miley to want to “party non-stop” but the more offensive thing was that she was taking a historically African-American dance move, the twerk (yes, that’s what it actually is) and using it to be “cool”. It’s called cultural appropriation. More about it here: http://www.xojane.com/issues/the-origins-of-twerking

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